This fall, NBC is bringing The Munsters back to television in the guise of Mockingbird Lane. Creator Bryan Fuller has said some interesting things about the show, such as how he wants this show to be a dramedy, an American Harry Potter, and how he’s not afraid of remakes, just bad remakes.
More importantly though, he says he wants to bring new monsters into the show. The original starred a Frankenstein monster, two vampires, and a werewolf. But many new monsters have graced the silver screen since the original show, and Fuller would like to incorporate some of them.
So here’s our picks for the monsters Bryan should include to keep the show feeling modern.
1) A C.H.U.D. as a Local Competitive Eater
C.H.U.D. is a somewhat forced acronym for Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dweller. While the original is a B movie staple, this is the perfect time to bring back a less than beloved icon of 80’s horror movies. And they’re cannibals who were originally used to keep sewers clean, so what better role than as competitive eater?
For them, cow brains are like chocolate, and if you’ve ever seen the movie you know they can eat 60 hot dogs way faster than Takeru Kobayashi ever could.
Then they’d eat Kobayashi.
2) Alien as the Family Pet
The Munster’s kid, Eddie, is a werewolf, so there might be some problems with giving him traditional pets like a cat (he’d chase it) or a dog (slavery). But an alien from Aliens? That would be an awesome gift! And think of the story lines you could have: they could have the Xenomorph eat the neighbor’s cat! Or his wife!
Either way, there’s plenty a young werewolf boy could learn from a pet that bleeds acid and has two mouths full of sharp teeth.
3)Predator as The Gym Teacher
Since the Munsters have a son and niece and since their ages in the reboot haven’t been announced yet, we’re going to assume they’re about high school age, pretty much just so we can make the Predator the gym coach. We know he’s athletic, and in great physical condition. And since all of his students except Eddie are human, they’d have the best track team in the state. You learn to run fast when your coach looks like that.
4) Freddy Kreuger as the Barber
Freddy Kreuger really only has two professions open to him: barber or Freudian psychologist.
And since psychology is more about prescribing pills than dream analysis these days, it seems likely Freddy would want a job where he could keep rocking that sweet-ass glove. Hell, he could even work at a salon and do mani- and pedicures too! Paint those bad boys pink to match the holes in his face, and he’s in business!
5) The Leprechaun as the Animal Control Officer
The Leprechaun from Leprechaun was a pint sized bastard desperately trying to get his gold back. But in Mockingbird Lane, he could be the hilariously undersized dog catcher desperately bent on catching Eddie’s pet alien.
Little people have become popular with television viewers recently. Look at the success of the character Tyrion in Game of Thrones, or that reality show about the escapees from Wonka’s chocolate factory. Putting in a little person is an instant win.
6) Hannibal Lecter as Restaurant Owner
There are almost too many jokes for this one. The character practically writes itself. Special of the day? The other white meat. Where every dinner comes with a nice Chianti. Plus, this gives the C.H.U.D. a place to hang out where he feels welcome.
But the best part? Bryan Fuller is ACTUALLY MAKING A HANNIBAL TV SHOW THIS FALL! Crossover anyone?