50 Shades of Grey Coming To A Screen Near You

Have you heard of 50 Shades of Grey? If so, you’re a woman, or far more in the loop than I am. 50 Shades of Grey is a book best described as “Mommy Porn” and it’s coming to a theater near you. Why should you care? Well, did you catch the mommy porn description back there? If that didn’t perk your curiosity, then maybe you should skip this post.

So what is 50 Shades of Grey about?

Well, it all started with a little known trilogy about vampires and werewolves and teen angst called Twilight. Wife and mother of two E.L. James was a big fan of the series, and decided to write her own fan fiction about it.

However, James wasn’t about to let it be some boring teen melodrama ruin her story though. She wanted Bella to really get it. And by it, we mean lots of vampire penis. Oh, and not just the ordinary “Hey, let’s go for a quick shag then I’ll suck your blood” kinda vampire sex either. She added lots of gratuitous BDSM to the mix as well. And people loved it. Mostly women and girls.

With the popularity of the fan fic, James realized she had a choice. Either leave it on her site for fans to enjoy for free, or change some names and plot devices, publish it, and sit back to rake in the dough. Naturally, she left it free for all of her fans to enjoy.

Wait, no, she pulled it down, filled it out and started selling the s#&* out of it. It’s been published as a real book and an ebook, and quite likely your mom has a copy by now. Women like it because it exposes their secret fantasies, and men like it because it encourages those women to explore their secret fantasies with the men.

It’s a win-win all around. Seriously, give a copy to your wife and/or girlfriend and see if things don’t seriously start to kink up in the bedroom.

Around the country, the book has seen mixed reviews. Most literary critics are bashing the book for reading like fan fiction (because it is) and some libraries have even pulled it from their shelves for its “pornographic nature.” However, thousands of new fans buy the series every day. So what do you do if a book is both loved and hated? Duh, you make it into a movie!

Universal Pictures, Sony and Warner Bros. all had a bidding war on who got the rights to turn this literotica into regular erotica. Last March, Universal revealed they had acquired the rights and a movie would be forthcoming. Long time vampire show stars Alexander Skarsgård and Ian Somerhalder have both expressed a keen interest in starring in the adaptation as the lead male character. While there’s no production date yet, much less a release date, 50 Shades of Grey will eventually be on the big screen.

Likely just in time for next Mother’s Day.

Note – top image comes from this hilarious post by Hayley Krischer.